January 28th, 2014
Was feeling it today. Got fired via email. Got gig offers directly after that. Applied for a few jobs in the afternoon. And just, created darkness for myself. It didn’t sweep me in from my loss, I did it myself. Let it consume me and seized it frame by frame. Then I had the urge to go see a movie by myself.
Saw Her. I have never been so emotionally stuck by a movie in years. Cinematography and writing was perfection. So seamless. Poetry in motion. That’s the kind of cinema I want to make. Definitely taking a page from Hoyte van Hoytema’s book.
Chilled in Panera for a long time, wrote, reflected, then came home to find my dad and his high school friend in my living room. I was more compelled to sit down with them if I could capture the weird lighting in the room.
Haven’t spoken to my dad in a while. Had some things to work out on my own terms away from him. He’s hurting, but it’s only gonna get more fucked up from here on in. Might as well enjoy the darkness while it’s rich with emotion.